If I could rewrite Day of Future Past…

it would be a porno…

The long anticipated next film in the X-Men series, Days of Future Past, sees the old team from the first trilogy meet up with the youngsters from First Class. The setting is a terrible future where sentinels rule and mutants are repressed and their powers muted. In the comic, Kitty Pryde  (played by Juno aka Ellen Page) travels to the past to warn the X-Men about the sucky future, but in the film the beefy Wolverine (played by Hugh Jackman) gets to do the time travel dance.

My porno would also feature some time travel (as all great pornos should ;)). Picture this: Young Erik aka Magneto (played by Micheal Fassbender) travels to the future to find that he is the hottest old man on this planet (played by sir Ian McKellan, who looks a lot like an amazing wizard) and then falls in love with himself, the attraction is undeniable. He’s conflicted though (all good pornos should have a little storyline right?) because, this is himself. Torn between loving his older self and going back to the past to become his older self, the young Magneto decides to ask his older self for his advice, not knowing that his older self is a total badass. His older self never loved the younger self because he sees how young and foolish he is. Of course he is attracted to him, cause he’s so sexy, but he’s also threatened by him, because he has his whole life ahead of him. He then marries himself, because gay marriage between the hottest two men ever is legal everywhere in 2050 or whenever, and the two of them stick together like magnets from opposite poles. The sweet and sexy end.

Seriously, can’t wait till May 2014 though.



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